Self introduction
My name is Allen, I was born in Tainan. Oringinally my subject was Electrical engineering, but I
like English quite a lot, so I dicided to transfer my study. At present, I am working in a langauge center at daytime, because of that, so I have to come to the Uni very rush, but I still enjoy in it at the moment.
Honestly I do not have any writting class experience before, and I did not write a lot. So I wish I could improve my writing skill step by step and one day I could write down a proper essay.
one year ago, I was no idea what I could do and what should I do in the future. Basically I only got a deploma degree in Eletrical Engineering field, and that isn't my favorite subject ,I hate it actaully! But why I would have chosen the subject? Let's us back through the days, and let me tell you. In Taiwan, Electrical Engineering is quite a popular subject in evey parents mind,unfunately, my parent's as well!! The year I gone to the examination of entrace for college, I got a not bad score for that test.Typically my parent suggusted me taking the cours of Eletrical Engineering, no much need to say, I had taken it. I had chosen a subject I didn't like it, just because, my parent told me: once you could graduate from it, maybe you could get more working opportunities to choose. Since that, I started my struggle college life. sigh.....
Time go fast, two years passed very soon. Reasonably I had to do my duty, military serves. Because I was doing the long time serves life, so I had got lot of time to think about what I really wanted the most. Then after I retired the amy, I joined the examination again. But this time I had decided to change my major to English, Because I had finished the military serves and big enough, so I have to work and raise myself. That's why I am working at daytime and study at night then.
After all the cours I wish could get the all English skills well, and help me to find my new career as well!
posted by Allen @ 5:24 AM
1 Comments:
Hello
Well done! Some suggestions for you:
1.At present, I am working in a langauge center at daytime, because of that, so I have to come to the Uni very rush, but I still enjoy in it at the moment.
-->avoid run-on sentences. Break a long sentence into two with a period (.) at the appropriate place.
--> choose only 'because' or 'so' in one sentence
-->I have to rush to the university
2. I was no idea what I could do and what should I do in the future.
-->I had no idea about what I could do and I should do.
3.Basically I only got a deploma degree in Eletrical Engineering field, and that isn't my favorite subject ,I hate it actaully!
-->diploma (check spelling)
4.Let's us back through the days, and let me tell you.
-->Let's go back...
5. In Taiwan, Electrical Engineering is quite a popular subject in evey parents mind,unfunately, my parent's as well!!
-->unfortunately (spelling)
6. The year I gone to the examination of entrace for college, I got a not bad score for that test.
-->I took ...and
7. Typically my parent suggusted me taking the cours of Eletrical Engineering, no much need to say, I had taken it.
--> suggested that I take ...
-->It went without saying, I followed their advice.
8. I had chosen a subject I didn't like it, just because, my parent told me: once you could graduate from it, maybe you could get more working opportunities to choose.
-->I...a subject I did not like just because my parents told me it is easier to find a job after I graduate from that course.
9. Since that, I started my struggle college life. sigh.....
-->my struggling college life.
10.Reasonably I had to do my duty, military serves.
-->the military service
11. Because I was doing the long time serves life, so I had got lot of time to think about what I really wanted the most.
-->doing the long time serves life
-->what do you mean here?
12. Then after I retired the amy, I joined the examination again. But this time I had decided to change my major to English, Because I had finished the military serves and big enough, so I have to work and raise myself.
-->service and I am not old enough to work and make a living by myself.
-->if you use 'becuase' in one sentence, avoid using 'so' in the same sentence
13. After all the cours I wish could get the all English skills well, and help me to find my new career as well!
--> I wish the couses I take will help me improve my English skills and help me find my new career.
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